Are you trying to get away?
What does a woman have to do to get a man to leave her alone? Why must we be relegated to lying about boyfriends, husbands, kids, STD’s, lesbian partners of which we have none just to hopefully have some guy who has taken persistence to a whole new level leave us alone? Approachable, yes and even a little persistence is okay. You do remember Aaliyah’s hit song “Try Again,” right? So there is a value to you asking me more than once for my number or to have a drink or meet for dinner.
But five or six times my dude? Listen sir, that is out of control! And you know at this point you need to stop, quit while you are ahead before this poor, frustrated girl flat out rejects you in the insulting way she learned in high school who has since grown up and doesn’t do that anymore, but the way you are rolling, she is tempted to give it a revival! Or embarrass you in a way that is sure to not have the most pleasant reaction.
And even then, when the breaking point is reached, some of us are hesitant to take that step because we fear for our safety. We don’t know if we are number 11 in a long list of women who have told you “no” today and you only have tolerance for 10 so we catch a physical warning, a reminder that you are the man and your dick is the best and we should be so lucky to be graced by your presence. Somewhere in between, you are sure to remind me that I am some kind of slut/hoe/bitch woman who doesn’t know a good thing when she sees one, trick ass bitch, my name.
And then we get stuck. Some of us get stuck right in between yelling back all the names we heard mothers, aunties, sisters call the men out loud and under their breath. Telling him he has been listening to Beyonce’s “Ego” taking it a little too personally and letting him know that he can’t talk like this cuz he can’t back it up!
OR should we really unleash the rage, go mad, and throw our stiletto at you, that drink in our hand, an open palm slap. Oh, but then who will bail me out of jail because they will surely arrest me for letting you have it for all of the men who have said this to me this year, and I tried to keep it sane in those situations but no more. And if I am going to go there, then I am going all the way THERE because you can probably only plead temporary insanity once a year
OR run away and cry and try to understand why, how, when did it become such a disgrace to have choices and honestly decide, “No thank you. I’m not interested but you have a good day though.” And how have you imagined me a whore because I refuse your sexual advances? And why do I find myself struggling to tolerate you rubbing your finger tips across my shoulder, my arm, hands not so gently gliding from my back to my backside, kisses quickly drip from my cheek to my neck, when you don’t even know my name.
And all I feel is sick.
Has this happened to you? Share your story. How can we exit these situations with our dignity and without the drama?
My mother emailed me today to tell me and she and my sister witnessed a car accident where a man on a motorcycle was killed. There were some of her words. They serve as a reminder to me that every single day is a gift of life and we should use that gift to show love as long as the Creator has given us a moment to live.
